When I said “I do” to the love of my life, I meant it. I also meant “till death do us part.” I was making a promise to him and to God that I would love, honor, and care for him as long as I lived. It was a sacred covenant. We were in love and so happy.

We started making plans right away to build our dream home. I had wanted to own a bed and breakfast for many years, so we decided to add the necessary accommodations to meet B&B codes, as well as other amenities we might not otherwise have included. I was teaching part-time in the local elementary school, which allowed me to run the business on the weekends and in the summer. We received nation-wide acclaim for our home, and while I enjoyed teaching, my real love was running the B&B and having time to work in my gardens.

Then one day, seemingly out of nowhere, my husband told me he didn’t want to be married anymore. In the state where we lived, if one person in a marriage wanted a divorce, it didn’t matter what the other person wanted. Since I had only a part-time income, I couldn’t pay an attorney for very long, so I wasn’t able to fight for my share of our assets. I couldn’t go out in public, fearing I’d run into my husband and his new partner, so each day I drove straight to school and then right home after work. I bought groceries in a neighboring town in order to avoid seeing them. I knew I couldn’t keep on living like that, so I resigned my teaching position. There I was, looking toward retirement only to find myself homeless and adrift.

When older people find themselves alone, whether through death or divorce, housing can often be an issue. They may no longer be able to afford to stay in the house where they had been living, even if they own it. Repairs, rising utility bills, medical expenses, etc., can put a strain on a single income. Or, if the person’s spouse is a minister and living in a house provided by the church, he or she will have to move. Renting a safe and decent place can be a challenge because rental costs are so high in many areas. Short of living with family, what is one supposed to do?

Normally we don’t think about people who are nearing retirement age facing these kinds of issues, but for people over fifty it is a growing national concern. “High housing costs force millions of low-income older adults to sacrifice spending on other necessities including food, undermining their health and well-being.”*

While some communities have low rent housing for senior adults, there is a shortage of it nationwide. Consequently, there are opportunities for the church to minister to those who find themselves in such situations. Perhaps your own congregation can take advantage of some of those opportunities. (See below.)

When bitterness starts creeping in, and believe me, it does quite often, I read a devotional message that I found a couple of years ago. It is titled, “Getting Past the Regrets.” I won’t write the entire message here, but I will share the scripture referenced in the article:

“And don’t be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. Where
you are right now is God’s place for you. Live and obey and love and believe
right there.” —1 Corinthians 7:17 (The Message)

When I saw this, I felt it was surely written just for me! It was as if Paul were shaking me by the shoulders saying, “Snap out of it!” It still has that effect on me. When I look at the little place where I am currently living or think about the beautiful home I used to have but lost to an unwanted divorce, and bitterness starts to overtake my thoughts, I read this scripture. Where I am right now is where God wants me. I’ll just have to take God’s word for it!

Some things the church can do to assist older people struggling to find affordable housing:
• Become involved with affordable housing opportunities for their parishioners, and for the larger community.
• Join the local housing partnership, if there is one; or, alternatively, join together with other churches in the community to form an inter-faith housing partnership.
• Create a centralized listing of affordable housing opportunities in your area. This listing should be accurate, up-to-date, and as comprehensive as possible. Such a listing can best be created both through inter-agency collaboration and through cooperation with local realtors and landlords. Contact such sources vigorously to locate affordable housing units and to update your list.
• Publicize that listing extensively, and make it available in both electronic and print copies at multiple sites, especially those that would naturally attract prospective affordable housing tenants.
• Create a parallel listing of prospective tenants who are interested in affordable housing opportunities when they arise. Prospective tenants should be able to register to get on the list without charge.
• Publicize that listing to real estate offices, rental agencies, and landlords throughout the community.
• Monitor and evaluate the consequences and overall effectiveness of affordable housing referrals made or received.
• Ensure that current tenants of affordable housing units know their rights, such as protection from unlawful rent increases, threats, pressures, or evictions.
• Publicize information relating to those rights. This can include door-to-door distribution of flyers, creation and distribution of more detailed manuals, and provision of well-advertised information, referral, and direct assistance services for both current and prospective residents with housing problems or concerns.
• Provide educational sessions and programs for tenants on affordable housing issues.
• Make those sessions and programs available to the entire community.
• Sponsor forums and workshops on those issues for community leaders.
• Offer technical support and consultation to tenant’s organizations.
• Advocate for local rent control and other local protective legislation when needed.
• Design and implement homeowner assistance programs, including counseling and training, for prospective buyers of affordable housing properties.
• Provide support services to complement affordable housing already in place. **

* http://www.shelterforce.org/article/4131/meeting_the_housing_needs_of_an_aging_population/)
** http://ctb.ku.edu/en/table-of-contents/implement/phsyical-social-environment/affordable-housing/main

 

Note: Since this article was written, Ms. Hudson has accepted the position of activities director with an assisted living community in Mountain Home, Arkansas, where she currently lives.